Miscommunication

So Josh got his car broken into the other night. A bunch of his cds and a bag containing his gym clothes was stolen (who steals cds, let alone gym clothes!?). We discussed the fact that he parks in a very dark spot on the landlord's property, and that I wish he could park where I do in the light. We didn't discuss it much further except for my briefly mentioning that he should try just parking smushed directly behind me. We watched some tv, and as he was falling asleep, I mentioned it again.
Me: I wish you would park behind me.
Josh: *snuh* What?
Me: You should park behind me.
Josh: Oh, honey... I would... but I'm tired. Wait. What did you say?
Me: What did you hear me say? I said, you should park behind me.
Josh: Oh... I heard "I wish you would pork pie me."

Girl who sits next to me at work

On the topic of bad dating choices, she says "My uncle asked me if I was still dating the guy missing an ear." "You dated a guy with one ear?" I confirm. "Yeah!"
"Did he still have the lobe?" I probed.
"YES! It was weird, there was an accident." I quickly respond: "I know him, I sold him clothes once. I called him the one-eared man."

Nick P

"chaney, chaney, chaney, chaney... Someday... I'll be a C.O.D.!"

Tommy

two minutes ago:
"You might say I'm a timeshare man. If I own a timeshare, and you own a timeshare, and I call, at 7am, on the Thursday of Thanksgiving, I snake your timeshare."
:D

Again, on the trax

Squirrelly looking guy with flesh-colored beard and glasses. Looks a little shifty, I immediately suspect meth or something. He unrolls a mess of clear plastic baggies and pulls a homemade looking white capsule out and pops it in his mouth. Some rude little tween asks what he took. "Caffeine." he says, "If I don't take it I get sick and have headaches." the little boy says "oh, that's cool." Squirrelly twitches. "Well, not really, not if you think about what's going to happen to my heart, I mean I'll probably be dead by the time I'm like 50 or something..."

Public transportation

I'm sure there are plenty of blogs all about the crazy things seen or heard on public transportation. Actually, Overheard in NY is just about the best thing ever for someone like me and most of those encounters are recorded on the subway. Anyway, it's easy pickins, but today there was a guy on the trax. Sort of a skinny, younger guy wearing a Harley Davidson vest (am I the only one who thinks it's funny that someone's repping motorcycles and taking public transportation?) and other assorted faded black denim and leather, with a confederate flag hat and scraggly dishwater blond hair. He seemed like he was trying to be real cool and nonchalant, until I looked over and there he was, white ipod earbuds hanging down, wailin' on the air drums. He DID NOT STOP. Would not- and when you thought he had, he'd start right back up again. 10 minutes, this went on.

My professor

He keeps saying inappropriate things in class. First it was "you don't sweat much for a fat girl". He tried to make it fit with the curriculum... This morning it was "Why did god create gentiles? Someone has to pay retail." Now, I'm no prude, and I appreciate a non- PC Jewish joke once in a while I guess, but a university classroom is probably a hotbed for all sorts of trouble saying these things. He's got quite the juevos. I guess I'm enjoying the extra jolt of possible drama it gives me at 8 am. Oh, old people.

First Post

So, every day I have one encounter or another that I try to remember. Whether it's a situation I derive joy from, or I just happen to think someone is particularly hilarious... I keep these situations cataloged in my head. Of course, given their transitive nature, they eventually dissolve or disappear, like a joke or a song. I'd rather keep them, but I need to write them down to do that. Maybe later on I won't even be amused by them, but I'll try to give them enough context that it will at least still be interesting. I figure, what better depository than the internets for such a dumping ground? That way anyone else who might be amused by them can join me in my daily swim through the random and mediocre. I'm not promising poignant, I never promised you poignant.
"Conversation of the day", or C.O.D. copyright Nick Pappas. You snost and lost, Pappalope!