Out of nowhere

"Wow. Imagine what it would be like to be Adam Lambert." - Josh

my throat feels like monica lewinsky after a cigar convention- Dad after surgery

He's so soft, I wish that I could make a blanket out of his fur. Like, without taking it. -Emily, on Milo the cat

You don't need to be beautiful to put a dick in your mouth. -Keena

On a walk through the neighborhood

This vinyl siding always reminds me of divorce.
- Josh

Exotic fruits

Mangosteen, what even is a mangosteen? Is it a Jewish mango? - Josh

Whaddaya got, dimes, twenties? Yeah but i gotta see it...- woman responding to singing man

Daamn, eastern parkway is poppin! Fuckin brunch assholes...

Josh, to the tune of I Fink U Freaky: If you like coffee, then you'll like me a lot. Cuz I made coffee for you up in a pot.

Emily, rubbing the peach bellini pad on her face: "why can't you be in my mouth instead of on my face?"

On the topic of David Kimball

Tay: there are a few people in this world, just a handful
that, if someone has a problem with them or doesn't like them
there's something wrong with that person.
David is one of them. If someone doesn't like David, you need to stay away from that someone because they're clearly fucked in the head somehow.