God dammit. I sure wish my phone would work when I text these things. What a bummer!

Josh the poet

"It's not my fault that poo rhymes with everything..."

Donna gets drunk

Donna (to Jasmine): Oh, you're definitely a bitch. A total bitch! But in a good way. You've got backbone. But you need to quit wasting your time thinking about these guys, they're a waste of your time. Not one of them is even good enough for you. Relax, give it time! Don't be so hard on yourself.

The Plot Thickens

Guy walking with girl on Lafayette: "So the premise is, Mark Wahlberg has this teddy bear from his childhood..." Do we really need to discuss the plot for a Seth MacFarlane movie? http://youtu.be/Nt_OSznnGkY

Christel Edwards Anthony "If you ever get the notion to revisit the movie, "Little Monsters" w/Fred Savage and Howie Mandel, don't. Horrible idea. Trust me. You blocked it from your childhood memories, and there's a reason for that."

Me and Josh ripping on Madonna

me: "What, 'chu think you're artsy cuz you fucked Basquiat? True. She did that." Josh: "I know. It's not passed venereally, bitch..."

Jon Evans: "If shooting up in my ankle behind a dumpster while eating a choco taco and listening to Sugar Ray is wrong, I don't want to be right."

Amy Bronson: "The attitude of 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge!' is really fucking this country up."