female u of u custodian to male custodian: "Did he use Hercules?" man: "Spitfire, diluted." Shop talk comes with every job, I suppose!

Kira grabs for newspaper: "oh, let's see what's going on that I can't participate in!"

old man at moustache party: "so, uh, are there gonna be any more... pot sessions?"

Ryan: I remember that picture! I can't believe I peed that much!" Patrick: "You peed sooooo much!"

me to Josh: whatcha thinking about? josh: nothing... long island.

time flies when you're dragging around in a chronic fatigue fog...-Kira

Christ. Mas.

Josh singing, to the tune of the Christmas song Jolly Old Saint Nicholas ("Jolly Old Saint Nicholas, lean your ear this way, don't you tell a single soul what I'm going to say)( (yes, on March 12)):
"Little son of Bethlehem, where the shit are youuu?"

A Hell of a Treat

Taylor: "I wish one of us were infertile, that would be the shit. I want to adopt anyway, so that would just be a hell of a treat."

SF Compilation

Brandy was cracking me up yesterday, so I took notes on my phone to remember to transfer later (since the stupid Bloggr text thing doesn't work). I'll set these up as little as possible and get right to it.

Walking to the bus station past the 16th and Mission train station, tons of people and a lot of weird stuff going on, but I notice that on the subway exit all of the parts that would normally be chainlink fence are this pretty network in different colors, like a sculpture with birds instead of screens.

I gesture to the screens, which have lots of people sitting around near them, and say "I like all the colored-"

"FOLK?" Brandy guesses, loudly.

We end up trying to go to the bathroom in the Sundance movie theater, and an African- American man with a lovely African accent is standing next to the escalators in all his Sundance regalia. We ask if it's okay if we go in without a ticket, he says no jokingly. We smile, start up the escalator and I say "hey, look at my shirt!" (I'm wearing my "I got the clap at Sundance" shirt, but I just really want to point out that I had no intention of showing up at a Sundance theater, yet here's my coincidentally matching shirt!) He has trouble reading it, because yeah- my chest must sort of warp the words, so he takes a minute to respond, looks up at us sort of inquisitively, and Brandy yells "She was just trying to show you her boobies!"

Later on the bus, Brandy was sort of verbally entertaining herself and for some reason turns to me: "HAIRY AREOLAS!... I've never said that before! SAY IT!"

Earlier we had watched this weird video by Die Antwoord, the Ninja one with the primordial dwarf in it. He wears a creepy hood and his face is sort of deformed, but we were talking about how much we loved primordial dwarves (just because it's sad they rarely make it past about ten years old).

Brandy puts her hood on in a dark corner and I tell her she looks sort of creepy.

"Do I look like a guy with primordial midgetry?"

I dunno, the word midgetry is just so far from dwarfism I laughed for a long time. I never promised these would be funny to anyone but me!

Air Pollution Control

I've been filming this chemical engineering course most of the semester. It's very dry, though the teacher tries to be fun.

Prof, to me: "We ready to start filming another exciting class?"

student: "What, you gonna dance for us?"

Prof: "I was thinking I'd rap some."

another student: "Where's your bling?"

Prof: "Gold's not really my color, so..."

Babybag

At Rachel's, baby Penelope is being a little overly grabby and has already spilled my glass of wine once. I finish the glass and set it back on the table. Penelope grabs for the glass:

"HA! It's empty now, you douche!"

Rachel: "I cannot believe you just called my baby a douche!"

"Well, she was acting like one..."