I love this pen... I wonder when it's... gonna go. - Josh, getting all sorts of depressing about a pen

J. Crew makes some great outfits to ineffectually stand there while your wife is mugged. - Alex Horwood

Clear Conscience

Luis, after a customer in a big cheap coat walked out: "She seemed like she had a lot of money." *eyeroll* Me: "Luis... how do you sleep at night?" Luis: "On my side. Like this."

Ughhhh

"Don't say you're old! I'm like two months older than you!" Alison: "But we're old, no?"

re: Kolob

Ryan: Finding out i wasn't going to get a planet was actually really disappointing

Tiiiin roof! RUSTED!

And just when you have absolutely given up on New York, a dude (seems a little rough around the edges, but not homeless) gets on the train and sings most of Love Shack- complete with the "I can't hear you!"s. BANG BANNNNNG! A few minutes later, I say "man, now you got that stuck in my head!" him: "My friend's doorknob was messed up and I was locked in his bathroom alone for an hour and ten minutes! I just kept singing I got me a Chrysler, it's as big as a whale, and it's about to set sail!"

I had some amazing chicken fingers today. You don't even talk about chicken fingers unless they're noteworthy. - Josh

I DIED and went to Kolob

Tommy: not all of us are as enlightened as you chinny me: enlightened, eh? Tommy: up until 2005 I thought I was going to get my own planet when I die. all im saying is im playing major catch up here

Alex Horwood: update

Gerard Butler is the James Franco of Colin Farrells... Bradley Cooper looks like a guy who's playing a "famous actor" in a made-for-TV movie... Yeah i was late for work because i was trying to rewrite Eminem’s Lose Yourself to be about petting a cat...also i was petting my cat. If Brad Pitt never used "This will be your last Pitt stop" as a pickup line, then seriously what's the fucking point of anything?... If you guys ever think our society has a lack of ideas, just type Zombie into Kickstarter...and that will undoubtedly prove it to you... All pants are tear-away pants... if you're really strong and really hate pants. Both my grandfathers fought in a World War...Their grandson is currently aggravated he can't log into his fantasy football league... How have you thrown in the towel today? Listen asshole, I'm not even interested in walking a mile in my own shoes There's always tomorrow... Except once. Hey, any word on if Tupac is releasing a new album this year?

Tay: "Jesus H. Macy, I'll never win."

The Flash Mob Mustache Bomber

David yaf: Every flash mob should be flash mob bombed like this guy did. Or better yet, every flash mob should just be bombed. What am I paying taxes for Obama? Stop bombing the middle east and get rid of the true threat right here in our own malls and public gathering areas. http://youtu.be/gOfOIQ5ayzI

Josh makes up some dumb lyrics for a song, giggles to himself. "Oh, what would I do without me...?"

High Standards

Overheard at Gino's Woman 1: He paid on his insurance through his check for a year and never went. I'm like you're over 30! Just go to the doctor. See about your prostate and all that, it's not a joke. Woman 2: You got a man that take his self to the doctor, you hold on.

Harmony: Grilled cheeses are the sweatpants of sandwiches.

Overheard on Parkside

She all like "but he's so nice to me, he's so nice." She got to know he's not nice, he just trying to get that pussy. Bitches don't ever know that!

I have string cheese in my purse. That's weird. - Stacy

Donna cracks me up.

I'm staring off into space sort of in her direction. Because she's short, she gets creeped and says, wide- eyed: "Whatchyou lurkin' at!?" A new girl I keep hearing is really nice works with us and I finally get to meet her. She leaves for lunch and Donna says "See what I mean? So sweet... you could learn a thing or two from her." me: "I'm sweet as pie, ya bitch!" We laugh. Best manager ever.

Tara's Wisdom

Josh may be weird but sometimes... sometimes.. he's the ONLY one that makes sense.

Hurricane advice

Joshua Sarlo: cuddle together and stay warm. me: lol Joshua: chew on leather for nourishment. me: it's not even cold! hahaha Joshua: try to sing old timey songs to distract the young ones from the winds..

Ana: look! Timelapse! (guy taking photos) me; look! Shark! (guy in shark suit)

"so much fun! I feel so freee!" - girl on bike, Central Park

Adam Hutton's facebook posts are gold.

Anyone want to go ambush/terrify/traumatize "ghost hunters" in a spooky abandoned building? I baited the trap with a pretty rad satanic altar and pigs blood a few months ago, so hopefully word has spread within the area youth.

TMI

Luis, in a singsong voice, opens the door to the bathroom: "I'm gonna shiit!"

Ann, Josh and I are walking to see an apartment down the block. Man walking by: "DAMN! This man has two beautiful women. What's your secret? Got a cigarette?" Josh: "Don't smoke, man." man: "Me neither, now!"

I'm probably better at UNO than you. -Michael

Is this real life?

"You're such a Miranda! Like Miranda with an edge." Cherry said to me, his eyes glittering with serotonin. His much drunker friend with braces and Mickey Mouse ears announced "I have to pee!". Mickey commenced to sit down on the sidewalk in front of the furniture store on 14th, pulled his pants halfway down, knees bent, and urinated down the sidewalk towards passers- by. As he peed, he chatted with a friend on his cell phone, laughing at his situation. After that, he declared "I'm fucked up! I have a test at 8am! Let's go to Webster Hall!"

Mom's snarky thoughts on religion

if she would just accept jesus in her life, all would be well. its fun to think there is some "magic" out there. me: sure! that's what you take mushrooms for. m: amen pot has probably done more to relieve suffering than god

Facebook posts are not conversations...

but someone should be logging the brilliance of the people on my feed. "What's a good hot sauce to mask the bitter taste of contempt and regret from day to day life? Sometimes when I eat all I taste is my eventual mortality and the overpowering uselessness of this mortal shell we call our own." - Rory Donahoe

Alex Horwood is brilliant.

Two men married? That's LUDICROUS!...and then a talking snake convinced a lady to eat fruit and that's why we feel shame.

"Looking forward to Jack Johnson's eventual anthology, "Gynecologist Waiting Room."..."- Alex Horwood

"Hey everyone, this is coming from someone that has no children but before you get pregnant, ask yourself if you really want to unleash a child into a world where Hi-C no longer makes Ecto Cooler juice boxes...?" Alex Horwood, who else?

Girl talk

Two girls in line behind me at the coffee shop on Jane "Auughh, I'm still so mad!" "Oh, get over it already. Why don't you just talk to him?" "Because... I'm a vagiiinaaaa..." - best part is the upstate NY accent.

Flattery?

Heading down into the 14th st train station after a long day, two scraggly homeless-hippie types standing near the entrance. With a rough British accent, one of the be-dreaded calls out to my back: "Ma'am! MA'AM! Get back here, Big Lebowski! I loved you in Big Lebowski..." is he referencing Maude? I'm kind of flattered and annoyed simultaneously.

Overheard in Brooklyn

Litte boy to his sister: "Kiara, next time call my dad to take you home from school." Kiara: "Devonn, you need to learn to get home by yourself." Devonn: "When pigs fly!"

Whoa. Do you wanna take acid and watch Jim Carrey's The Grinch? - Josh

Stop being amazed by giant black men! - Eric to Ryan

"Did you know that liquor costs $7 on the plane!? I thought it was free!" - Rene, living up to exactly the kind of comment we predicted he would make

One cool aspect of listening to a loud conversation about hunting season while i was grocery shopping for kitty litter is remembering we'll all be dead someday...- Alex Horwood

"She likes to throw her own bone, and catch it." -James

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"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" - the crowd responding the only way it can to a hulking, angry trans woman toppling guardrails and sending small men flying onto their asses

:)

Josh: SarahPalin2016.com is still available. Erin: We need to buy that shit and make it as legit looking as possible. We need our best men on this one. Josh: What would I do without you?

Bundt-kakke? Is that where multiple people throw cake at your face?- Ehren

"Just as I suspected- without Jam it's just some dry toast." - Jam

New Lost

Most nights the 3 train takes you to New Lots Avenue. This Sunday evening, the 3 train decided to try on a new hat and take folks to Flatbush Avenue instead, leaving those who live at New Lots taking a shuttle bus at Franklin. The announcement was made by the conductor, as well as splashed about the station on signs with alternate suggestions. Somebody forgot to translate those instructions into every single language spoken by those who live at New Lots. A tired looking Southwest- Asian man gets the attention of the women sitting next to me, just as the train splits off and starts going down the new way: "New Lost!?" "It normally goes to New Lots but it's not tonight." "New Lots?" "Yes, the 3 train usually goes to New Lots but because of construction you have to take the bus at Franklin instead." He points desperately at the piece of paper in his hand. I direct his attention to a sign behind his head with the instructions on it, hoping his read English is better than what he hears. He studies it with a furrowed brow, dramatically flapping his piece of paper. He looks again at the women sitting next to me: "New Lost!" They convince him to take the train going back to Franklin, a massive Jamaican woman shaking her head as he dashes out. "I don't think he gets it."

Steel drum man on the 2 line segues effortlessly from Fur Elise to Take 5 and back again. One gold tooth.

Ana: that is the best news I've heard today and that goes after I hung up with a guy who wanted to pitch a show about ghosts to me me: ???? Ana: yup not like ghost hunters, but like the ghosts where the characters in this reality show

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You're watching the godfather without me? Do you not love me?

Ryan: oh, my boss overheard something on Fire Island: "He's doing it all wrong, first you go to the clubs, you WERK WERK WERK, you fuck everybody and THEN you get a boy friend". insert arm gestures at "WERK WERK WERK" werds of wizdom

I thought I bought an otter skull, and I waited for weeks and it never came. It turns out I didn't buy it. I was sad. - Kira

Why you should love my Mom, a short essay

Kira: Mom just coined the term, "skankles".

Submitted by Kira, my embedded informant

Dad comes in. Kira: "What the hell's on your head!? Dad: "This is how I cool down." K: "What IS that!?" Dad: "Cabbage leaves. Nice and cool. And moist. Works like a charm. "

Dad: "So, I might be joining the Beatles cover band." me: "Oh, you'll be a great Ringo." Dad: "More like Bingo."

Boy Scouts reaffirm their stance against gays. Seems a little strange to me, considering it's dudes with cute animal patches sewn all over their matching outfits. Just sayin... - Neil

Corner Store Story

I don't feel like breaking my 20, so I grab a small bottle of water since I have a loose $1. "Get the big one, babe! The big one", says Abdul. "We got to keep you healthy. Have a good day, babe."

I wish someone would love me as much as Kanye West loves Kanye West. -Dana

Took you this long?

"You don't know ANYthing." Josh, mindblown at my absolute ignorance of Star Wars

Bitch act like she ain't even know I was comin out. I'll punch that bitch in the face! - girl pretty much saying what I was thinking about the crowd on the 6

Topic: the terrible humidity- heat in NYC

Adam: Ew. I'm moving to Canada. me: that sounds loverly take me with you Adam: Montreal? me: yessa we will wear beaver pelt hats and drink shitty coffee Adam: And put maple syrup on motherfucking everything. me: HAHA

Zayd: you're the hero the internet deserves, but not the one it needs me: maybe i'm the one it needs, but doesn't want. maybe it doesn't want to be saved. Zayd: tonight's main course... justice served with a side of justice and for dessert... a souffle

Cheesy "ladies man" type sees the wrapper in my hand and leans twoard me with his empty coffee cup. "I'll throw it away for you. And later on in the day, you do a good deed for someone."

"maybe they're trying to save electricity, and they're doing their makeup in the dark." -Luis

Overheard

Man with EXTREMELY gay stereotype lisp: "Dallas. Dallas! The episodes I haven't seen yet!"

"I am the Serpico of handjobs." - Doud "...I thought I was Serpico but it turned out I was Donnie Brasco."

Adorable.

Playing Super Mario World "This is a hard level." -Ryan "No it's not. It's simple! Just get all the coins, flip the switch. Grab the P, just take it over there. Blue fuckin' door. Bang." - Dylan

It is a very nice song, it's very popular. It has a nice beat to it. It's a good song, Alison. It has a nice rhythm. -little boy to his sister

"N.B.L. Nuttin Butt Love": a store in Bedstuy

So we're at our anniversary dinner, and I said "James, I have marijuana in my wig!" - Heather

Tommy: "you can call me Attila the Pun... or Punter S Thompson" Nope. Not gonna do that.

"Do you have a perfume that smells like snatch"? Donna's boyfriend, calling on the workphone

Life is hard, miss. But it is good. -Ali, my cab driver, before he burst into song.

I took a cab driver home once! Well, he took me to my home. But I didn't have to pay him for the ride. - Matthew

"The men in Utah must be so good- looking. Because of the purity in the bloodline." .... whut?

The flan has flown. Thank you for flying flan air.

Patchouli is a wood? I didn't know that! - Rene

Abruptly

Josh, brushing his teeth in the bathroom: "Hey, hon??" "Yeah?" he steps into the doorway. "What's up with the Jonas Brothers!?" I just stare at him. He shrugs, like 'no? no good?' and wanders away.

Tay's two cents

upon recent reading of convoblog: "Taylor: stacey sounds hilarious Taylor: and I love that your dad is still making monica lewinsky jokes."

Whoa.

"Oh... I LOVE that. What is it called?" me: ... an iPod? "Oh, that's an iPod." - Rene, my new coworker.

Late night poetry

"There's something that lies beneath psychologically, son, that causes him to be that way. I'm not no psychotherapist, but..." - two young men on the 2 train, talking about a friend who apparently has gone astray. It was a lovely conversation to overhear.

Out of nowhere

"You know... if I remember correctly... the best thing about two girls, one cup? The soundtrack." -Josh

Shit, I got a half a joint on me right now. - dudes on Parkside and Rogers

‎...I would watch a show called "Wilford Brimley Watches the BET Awards."... - Alex Horwood

So polite!

"You can just pack it with weed and I'll smoke it, keep the pipe." -one dude to another, outside Bantam

Ann's mom

"Blackfast with friends at Lagna." (Ann's mom is from Korea)

"Anorexia is the new bulimia. Bulimia used to be the new anorexia, but now it switched again."- Ryan Doud, on fashion

Curs, it's whut's fer beer.

Chupa me cabra! You heard me. -Stacey

Did you see that soap on a rope? It was totes inapprope. -Stacey

Wow. I'm embarrassed by that thing that I say. - Stacey, upon learning that "Jesus Suaves" is not Spanish for "Jesus saves".

The second you start talking about a car that's organic... Suck my dick. -Emily

Emily- Drugs is a hell of a drug.

Emily- Drugs is a hell of a drug.

Submitted by Kira: Mom- did you hear me listening to hoobastank last night? I turned it way up so it was like being at a concert.

Ohhh, I love drinking but I hate being so drunk!

Stop walking slow like a turtle, you bitch! What are you, a fucking slow person!? -10 year old to another boy, Coney Island

I don't care about radiators, but I did that day. -James

I do not have an extra chromosome, I'm very disappointed. -Kira

"When's your bedtime?" "who said I had a bedtime?" "the guy who sold me the gremlins."

"I also have many festive hats." - Kevin, suggesting things I could wear for his film assignment.

Bartender on first day, ten minutes after meeting me: "I'm gonna quit my new job!"

Roommates

Ann, to Josh: I have that Call Me Maybe song stuck in my head. I think it's partially your fault because you posted the video. J: Yeah, I did. A: You know you're going to hell, right? J: I'm already there. A: Touche. You win this round, but I'll be back for more.

An Unintentional Poem about Pickles

Yisell: "Ugh pickles/ just they look like wet frogs/ smell like used condoms / used sour condoms"

On STDs

"Gotta catch em all!... Follow your nose!" Sarah and Cameron

Whatever, if you're from an island, fuck off. -Emily

Get a life. Well it's too late maybe, but... -Luis, about a crazy old customer

Wow. Hand banana. Wow. -Kevin

Battery porn? Pattery porn? Oh, pottery barn. - Luis

My phone, my choice. -Missy

"She is on overload all the time, don't talk to her..." My boss, about me after I said something silly. How have I known this woman a month and she's got me pegged!?

Cuuuuuute

Little girl pointing to advertisement on the train: "Daddy, what's that say?" "Live- in- the- moment. I don't think you really need to be told that though." "Oh. Ok!"

Tommy: I had a dream about you. You me and Josh were riding bikes around sandy. Then you started critiquing my house like a sassy interior decorator. Quit Queer- Eyeing my house.

God dammit. I sure wish my phone would work when I text these things. What a bummer!

Josh the poet

"It's not my fault that poo rhymes with everything..."

Donna gets drunk

Donna (to Jasmine): Oh, you're definitely a bitch. A total bitch! But in a good way. You've got backbone. But you need to quit wasting your time thinking about these guys, they're a waste of your time. Not one of them is even good enough for you. Relax, give it time! Don't be so hard on yourself.

The Plot Thickens

Guy walking with girl on Lafayette: "So the premise is, Mark Wahlberg has this teddy bear from his childhood..." Do we really need to discuss the plot for a Seth MacFarlane movie? http://youtu.be/Nt_OSznnGkY

Christel Edwards Anthony "If you ever get the notion to revisit the movie, "Little Monsters" w/Fred Savage and Howie Mandel, don't. Horrible idea. Trust me. You blocked it from your childhood memories, and there's a reason for that."

Me and Josh ripping on Madonna

me: "What, 'chu think you're artsy cuz you fucked Basquiat? True. She did that." Josh: "I know. It's not passed venereally, bitch..."

Jon Evans: "If shooting up in my ankle behind a dumpster while eating a choco taco and listening to Sugar Ray is wrong, I don't want to be right."

Amy Bronson: "The attitude of 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge!' is really fucking this country up."

Out of nowhere

"Wow. Imagine what it would be like to be Adam Lambert." - Josh

my throat feels like monica lewinsky after a cigar convention- Dad after surgery

He's so soft, I wish that I could make a blanket out of his fur. Like, without taking it. -Emily, on Milo the cat

You don't need to be beautiful to put a dick in your mouth. -Keena

On a walk through the neighborhood

This vinyl siding always reminds me of divorce.
- Josh

Exotic fruits

Mangosteen, what even is a mangosteen? Is it a Jewish mango? - Josh

Whaddaya got, dimes, twenties? Yeah but i gotta see it...- woman responding to singing man

Daamn, eastern parkway is poppin! Fuckin brunch assholes...

Josh, to the tune of I Fink U Freaky: If you like coffee, then you'll like me a lot. Cuz I made coffee for you up in a pot.

Emily, rubbing the peach bellini pad on her face: "why can't you be in my mouth instead of on my face?"

On the topic of David Kimball

Tay: there are a few people in this world, just a handful
that, if someone has a problem with them or doesn't like them
there's something wrong with that person.
David is one of them. If someone doesn't like David, you need to stay away from that someone because they're clearly fucked in the head somehow.

I have fire in my panties! - Damiana

Harmony Boyer
I wonder what Kristen Stewart is rolling her eyes at right now.

Tweetbook

Ryan: I know a book of my tweets would not be super interesting.
my book would be 400 pages of dick jokes and moaning about what sandwich I had or if I did or didn't have coffee that particular day

I shall call it Dick & Coffee: a tale of 2 sandwiches
A tweeted memoir by Ryan Paul

Canadians just don't understand.

Ryan: I totally put chocolate milk in my coffee today
white trash mocha
me: hey. now...
root beer milk
that would be a white trash mocha

Ryan: root beer milk?
... that sounds... TERRIBLE

me: It's delish. If you're wt.
Ryan: what is it?
me: it's milk
that's root beer flavored
Ryan: MIND BLOWN

Nightmare scenario: what if the 'Teen Paranormal Romance' section of bookstores is still around in 10 years?- Adam Hutton

Vasarelli playground, 14-ish boys playing basketball.

Boy #1 (could be asian- american): "What time is it?"
Boy #2: "Time to get a watch!... Or steal one, like people from your country do."


wait. what? I mean, if he IS referring to Chinese fake watches, those are manufactured and not stolen... whatever...

John Wayne is dead. No, actually I don't know if he's dead. , Stacey

Taylor: I'm making a doc right now called 'Erin's Wisdom' and just c/ping this shit

Emily: My boobs look kinda big today... But not really.
Me: QUOTE!
Emily: Noooo!

Should I put more butter on? - Emily

me: "Who the fuck is this?"
Josh: "Kid Cudi."
me: "Why is he singing?"
Josh: "Because he wants to."
me: "Why is he out of tune?"
Josh: "Because he wants to."
me: "So, I'm not even going to ask why you're listening to it, then. Because you want to?"

I think we should start an online magazine called hater parade. It rolls off the tongue. - Eric Fisher

I think we should start an online magazine called hater parade. It rolls off the tongue. - Eric Fisher

Rasheem

Trying to guess my ethnic background: "You half- Japanese? Full Japanese? You not Caucasian- with them chinky- ass eyes!? No way."

I wanna be just like you when I get young, do you wanna donate to the united negro pizza fund? You don't gotta be a rockefeller to help a fella...

-crazy old lady on the train

Does she have a husband? They left me in the street to die, when I got hit by that truck. True story.

My daughter got long, black hair and a gold chain. Chrissy think she cute. I got somethin for her! I'm going to California. Does she ever bathe?

Bulemaholik Jones...

Kim Paulus:
"It's always been right now. It's alright now."

me: We've been through so much crazy shit together, man. The worst is already over.
A: I hope you're right. I have to believe you're right.

man with friends on train: "Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to have a duck, would you?"
me: "Sho 'nuff don't!"
him: "Really? That's too bad, because I'm trying to tell this fool that they quack."
his friend: "No way, if anything it's more like a honk."
me: "I don't know, I think it's kind of a mix of the two- depending on the species."
them: "MWACK, GUAA"

Old man, poking at the Fig Newtons to the side of the cash register at the hero place: "What's this, fig... never seen that before. Says it's free, fat free? They lyin'. How they do that?"
Shop owner shrugs.

New combo word

Tommy: that would be fantasgreat
me: stop trying to make that a thing, Tommy.

Bearded young white guy (not that common a sight in our neighborhood) walking alongside me and Emily last night: "What are you two up to tonight?"
We respond in a friendly but not-too-friendly way. "Oh, going home to drink some margaritas!"
He mutters: "You guys wanna hook up?"...
I laugh: "you're joking, right?" - I turn to look him in the face and he gets a sort of irritated, flustered look on his face.
"What do you think?"

I am at a loss for words for a moment. ME.

"I mean... I gotta respect you for trying, but I think the time and place are a little off. Godspeed, my friend!"

We hustle off and he stops following us.

Ana: I hate vegans. I hate you all.
I hope hell is a giant Meat Castle full of hot dogs

Nylon Mag

Emily: "Erin, no! You know once you start critiquing Nylon you've stooped down to their level. You're better than that."

Ana: you're the smartest Erin.
I wish you told people your wisdom.
You're like a tiny Buddha with a fierce red haircut

Josh and I discuss the new abstinence- only education bill running through the House in Utah.
There's a professor from BYU speaking out against it, but of course Gayle Ruzicka likes the bill.
me: "Oh, fuck Gayle Ruzicka. She can lick my taint."
Josh: "But she wouldn't know where it is."

Aaron: shit got weird in the best way last night
i think there were six topless chicks in my room til like 7am
what the fuck am i supposed to do for my birthday if that's just what happens on a random saturday?

me: whoa. why were they topless?
were you giving away free mammograms again?

"May you fertilize your crops with the ashes of your enemies." -Deanna's toast

"That's what I get for buying a book at Urban Outfitters." - Robbie

"Beer can... Oh!"- Robbie

Style-arisma- new word by Eric

Tomato, tadildo...-Ana

I never quote myself!

"I wish I knew how to hit- and- quit you." -me

"Musicians. It's like an accent, times two." -Eric

"So Kevin Sorbo told a really funny joke earlier." - Eric

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Totes? Totes mcgoats. Oh, totally goatily? - Dad trying to be hip

The older I get, the more of my neuroses are confirmed. -Eric

Dad: "What's the equivalent of a cock tease? (for lesbians) Twat tease?" Mom: cuntease?

Pop culture conspiracy

Ana: beyonce's fake baby is probably hanging out with gaga's dick right now

Had I been a girl I'd be so pretty... - guy working at All Saints

Emily on Omaha

Omaha-
"What is that, is that a place?"

Josh's new work song

"If you don't blow me right now...
you will never see your fuckin' family..."

That's why I just call it a hot. Like you're not just a hot mess, you're like just a hot. Random drunk hipster

Only Adam

Adam Little: Ooooh! I have the best drama!
Me: Oh yeah? Dish, girlfriend!
Adam: Short version: stalker-ish neighbor has been writing about me on facebook for months.
Me: Ummmmm
Adam: In Chinese.
Me: The fuck
Adam: She's never heard of a little thing called "browser plugins".

Brainstorming

Ana: make a fashion vid like LADY GAGA
me: lol
Ana: with an asian girl puking on you slo-mo
me: with a stutter edit, like in Videophone?
flashing strobe effects?
Ana: exactly. we're so brilliant.

Onomatopeia? You watch your mouth, young lady! - Jam

Josh, on the bitches who shop at Whole Foods:
"your only marketable skill is you take rich dick."

Josh, to me: you've got a cute face, and a real nice attitude.

My Cheerleaders

Two young men standing on the corner see me booking it for the train station.

"GET IT, GIRL!"
"Earn that money!"

:D

Robbie: Uh, yeah!
like no doy, erin

me: like no doy.
i cannot tell you the last time i heard that.
thank you.

Robbie: oh, c'mon. you can tell me.

me: you have triggered a cascade of flashbacks
including The Noid, and "psike!"

Robbie: avoid the Noid!