NINJA FOR HIRE! Wouldn't that be so cool!?
-Manju

Scott's birthday cake is cookies and cream, looks *only very slightly* like granite or something.

Scott: "As a geologist, it's like this cake is centuries old. All the layers..."


later, Manju is confounded that she doesn't know how old Scott is.
JSar: "Why don't you just count the rings?"

Deena Marie's award- winning ideas

I want to open up a club called Wank. Wank will have everything, elves on opiods, celebrity babies in high heels, and a "Full House" look a like contest. At the door you'll be greeted by Frickles. Frickles is that thing of when Fergie and Don Rickles have the same face, and you can't really tell who is who

JSar takes a call from his mom: "MMkay, so when I said you could call me at work...?"

on a cellular level, i'm reallly busy right now. - Jenn McGrew

Mike Stone needs to make a guide to Mike Stone-ing.
Jsar

Tommy: Me transcribing is like making a soldier with ptsd play paintball.

I was strictly El Pollo Loco, 'til KFC started doin' grilled.
-Isaac

Tommy: Start a new trendy hotspot, which I will frequent. Your signature dish will be Eggzra Taft Benedict. Delicious!

Is that a fanny pack? I haven't seen a caucasian with a fanny pack in years!
- Natasha

JSar, worried about not having heard from me, on the phone:
"Blink twice if you're okay!"

Good ole Mayor Marblemouth!
-Efish

"I'mean, why do you think they call it Casual Blackface Friday?"
- JSar

Tommy on his brother in law (recently returned from Afghanistan): "Just hope he doesn't go all ptsd on goofy
That hat looks a little turbany
We are definitely steering clear of Aladdin"

If you're not starting your Monday off with poop jokes, you're doing it wrong.
- Ana

Gleek

Chad on Glee: "The Britney Spears episode will touch your heart."

Tommy sees me in my little 20's bell hat: "Look at you in yer easter bonnet. With all the frills upon it."

Deena Marie's one- liner film review

Let's just say that aside from a couple of awesome numbers, it was like my butt wrote the script for "Burlesque". - Deena

The opposite of Mike Stone-ing is Charlie Sheen-ing.-
JSar, quote king of the day

Ana: I stole nails from Kirby.
Jsar: That's like stealing diamonds from a troll!

I must have funny friends

for me to be constantly quoting them from Facebook posts:

Office got evacuated today to a gas leak. Was exciting at first but I got bored quickly and was soon admonished for posing for pics (forthcoming) next to the fire truck. I saw some people going in early and figured it was cool to go back to work but a fireman kicked me out. I told him I'm in IT and we go down with the ship, but he wasn't having any of that. Also according to Klingon mythology if you die at your post you automatically get into So vo kor when you die, so those fascist first responder thugs denied me my glorious martyrdom and warrior's afterlife. - Adam Hutton

Great. Beckham got a tattoo of Jesus on his pec.
-Chad