Josh's work song

Motherfucker workin' up on New Year's Eve... makin' so much money that you won't believe! Workin' at Whole Foods...

Norm: what's gross?
Yisell: your vinegary balls.

Mommy. Mommy. Mommy! Some people is black. And some people is brown. And some peoplr (looks at me) *whispers inaudibly*

Sheeldrun! You are too happey!- haitian man talking to spazzy sons

I hope that's honey mustard. -Manny

Fran (in Chile)

Fran: "Y tu baby cuando?"
me: in like 5 years!
Fran: "You must be mom now!"

I just choked on a piece of glitter. -Josh

Turnabout

I tell Harmony she should move here. She deftly maneuvers the specific location, but tells me she plans to move out of state.
‎"OH I KNOW YOU MEAN SILVERLAKE, YOU HIPSTER WHORE."

... My eyebrows are sweating. -Yisell

i dunno what to pack besides heat!
and fudge.

- Tommy, heading to Hawaii

Emily: "Oh nooooooooo!
This is terrible news!"

me: "What!"

Emily: "They're closing down the Jaws ride, forever! It was so scary!"