Curs, it's whut's fer beer.

Chupa me cabra! You heard me. -Stacey

Did you see that soap on a rope? It was totes inapprope. -Stacey

Wow. I'm embarrassed by that thing that I say. - Stacey, upon learning that "Jesus Suaves" is not Spanish for "Jesus saves".

The second you start talking about a car that's organic... Suck my dick. -Emily

Emily- Drugs is a hell of a drug.

Emily- Drugs is a hell of a drug.

Submitted by Kira: Mom- did you hear me listening to hoobastank last night? I turned it way up so it was like being at a concert.

Ohhh, I love drinking but I hate being so drunk!

Stop walking slow like a turtle, you bitch! What are you, a fucking slow person!? -10 year old to another boy, Coney Island

I don't care about radiators, but I did that day. -James

I do not have an extra chromosome, I'm very disappointed. -Kira

"When's your bedtime?" "who said I had a bedtime?" "the guy who sold me the gremlins."

"I also have many festive hats." - Kevin, suggesting things I could wear for his film assignment.

Bartender on first day, ten minutes after meeting me: "I'm gonna quit my new job!"

Roommates

Ann, to Josh: I have that Call Me Maybe song stuck in my head. I think it's partially your fault because you posted the video. J: Yeah, I did. A: You know you're going to hell, right? J: I'm already there. A: Touche. You win this round, but I'll be back for more.

An Unintentional Poem about Pickles

Yisell: "Ugh pickles/ just they look like wet frogs/ smell like used condoms / used sour condoms"

On STDs

"Gotta catch em all!... Follow your nose!" Sarah and Cameron

Whatever, if you're from an island, fuck off. -Emily

Get a life. Well it's too late maybe, but... -Luis, about a crazy old customer

Wow. Hand banana. Wow. -Kevin

Battery porn? Pattery porn? Oh, pottery barn. - Luis

My phone, my choice. -Missy

"She is on overload all the time, don't talk to her..." My boss, about me after I said something silly. How have I known this woman a month and she's got me pegged!?

Cuuuuuute

Little girl pointing to advertisement on the train: "Daddy, what's that say?" "Live- in- the- moment. I don't think you really need to be told that though." "Oh. Ok!"

Tommy: I had a dream about you. You me and Josh were riding bikes around sandy. Then you started critiquing my house like a sassy interior decorator. Quit Queer- Eyeing my house.