me: "I like kissing you."
Josh: "Know what I like? Sinking baskets. Nonstop..." *throws wadded- up McDonald's bag backward, missing trashcan.

Love Blossoms 2- the sequel

and then he said stuff that made my heart pound and then i farted.
NOT REALLY
i didn't fart.
-Brandy

..How is there not an all-midget rap group named Shrink Rap? It's embarrassing, music industry! Embarrassing... - Alex Horwood

I still want a taco...
- Scott

Tommy: here's one that's a real rib-tickler
hey there chinny, did you hear about the cow that got swept away in that recent tornado?
Well apparently, it was an udder disaster!

Tommy: hey chinny, did you hear what the mexican meteorologist predicted?
chili today, hot tamale!

Tommy: id like to do something that in some way is anti you
something that will allow me to cut you down at the knees
but unfortunately there's no company that can put poop in sephora's makeup or take lolcats off the internet

Where my grillz at!? - Tima

"That guy has, like, a great mind." -Neil, on the topic of Eric Fisher

England trip throwback COD

Ana, sleepily singing: "Why are there so many- songs about Erin?"
me: "Because she's real-ly a man..."

GAhaha.

me: Not sure if I'm going to Egypt or not.
Tommy: you look very jewy
prob not a good idea
me: like YOU can talk, jewy mcgreek
Tommy: i staying here bitch!
working on my dougie
me: lol
Tommy: i suggest you do the same
that way even if you do get sent out
and they think you are a jew
you can start your dougie
and then they'll know you are not one
jews cant dougie.....fact


10 minutes later: Ana: "You do look kind of jewy."

Absolutely no preface...

Does anybody have an LDS copy of the King James Bible?
- Zach, at the office. Actually not all that strange, as far as questions around here go

Love Blossoms

Brandy: but he said he's gonna try to burn me the first season of big love. and i told him to watch weird science. and then he said we'll get together afterwards to talk about bill paxton's realm of work.

Tommy, bored at the doctor's office

Tommy: There should be a movie about a deviant who goes from hospital to hospital to get his bum diddled
Starring Tom Hanks
And then one day a doctors finger gets stuck
And its like sword in the stone
Only one worthy nurse can pull it out
And then he gets to be king
me: LOL. oh my god, Tommy. are you trying to get into the quoteblog?
Tommy: No I'm trying to pitch you a brilliant idea. I think the nurse should be David Archuletta.
And the doctor will be Robin Williams. Because we all know he plays a great doctor and has massive sausage fingers
find me a producer

Hookup Etiquette

"she was like, 'show me what Ayisha taught you'. What the fuck, don't talk about some other chick I was with while we're fucking...." -overheard at Squatter's

Who would want to have sex with a virgin? Sick! -Angie

Tommy: probably time for me to hang up my hat in the film world, and work on my second dream
substitute teaching

I did my mission on Gilligan's Island. First I went after Mary Lou, then Ginger, then Mrs. Howell, after that I lost my testimony. - My Dad

hey I wrote you a haiku
Hey little hipster/
accidentally ate meat/
organic tote bag

- Ana's haiku

Naming her blog

Brandy: "Should I call it... "What About Blog"? Diss. Of course that's already taken."

My Indian name is Bitchy-Face Fancy Mocassins. Now with 30% more beading! - Coby (an actual Native American)

Magic!

Acai berries are considered a "superfood" because as soon as you start talking about how great they are, you turn into a dickweed.- Alex Horwood

Ana on the new Dr. Dre video

They need a doctor, to figure out what happened to Eminem's face!
-Ana Breton

Tommy has no job.

Tommy: I can probably help a little on Monday but I ain't doing shit on the weekends!
me: haha ok
understandable.
i know you work very hard, tommy. you deserve a break.
... still writin' that novel?
still uh... still uh...
workin on the characters? enriching 'em?
givin em depth? yeah.
yeah, you need a break.
--Tommy is offline and can't receive messages right now.

In high school, the green m&ms meant you were horny... so. Maybe he (Marcus) left it on your desk to remind you to be more nurturing and loving to your husband.
-The wise and wonderful Erin Fox

Did you know that every time an American takes a drink on Cinco De Mayo, a Mexican takes their job?- Josh Sarlo

Chad: Ana, when you talk about me... can you use the words, "super badass"?

Inappropriate!

As JS and I walk into the coffee shop, I'm finishing up a highly inappropriate story about an ex.
He gives me the body language to hush up as we walk up to the cash register to order. He asks how it's going.
Barista girl: Goood, I'm about to get off!
me: Oooh, exciting!
JS: I think we're all a little excited right now.

Fish

Eric: the stigma on clown fish was lost with nemo. FACT.
me: there was a stigma? was nemo the Kunta Kinte of our generation?
EF: yeah. well, until they come out with the gay Roots.
me: wasn't that Angels in America? sure was as long as Roots.
EF: maybe Milk? i think when they start showing elementary school kids Milk, then we can call it gay Roots. until then, i think the metaphor falls short.

Erin, I'm really insulted by your profound truths. - Adam