Sean, at Sephora: I was thinking 'i'm the only guy in here! well... Erin's kind of a dude."

dad: try raising a fuckin' family drumming full time... mom: yeah, who'd be dumb enough to do a thing like that?

guy at Halloween party: "hey, could I have a hug? i'm having a constest with myself to see how many tits I can get pressed against me. yours are real nice." :(

Sylvester Stallone looks terrible! He looks like Prince. -Josh

Russian dudes on CR

in: what you name?
out: your music is too loud
in: look
in: it s russian rap)))
out: ahah
in: what you name???
out: what's your name?
in: Vovik
out: ok
in: vlfd
in:
in:
out: dark hair, vovik
out: and blond?
in: Vladik
(Vladik flashes the Vulcan hand, I return it)
out: greetings, fellow dorks
out: live long and prosper

"if you're going to a party and wanna impress everyone, so you bring your tall good looking friend... that's your brophy wife." -Josh

"oh, you don't know Rick? he's really cute... well he's not really cute but he's really nice..." -Teri, on some guy