Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Dad's Christmas poem:
it makes you use a word like castle
what the hey, you want to say
it comes out a funny way
that archaic rhyming bullshit is for assholes.
Friday, December 24, 2010
Rachel's claws come out
R: No, like we've been closed for 15 minutes.
Are you serious?
R: Serious as a heart attack.
This is really only funny if you know Rachel. She's the model customer service girl!
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Alex, the film student...
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Horrifying imagery
Friday, December 17, 2010
Thursday, December 9, 2010
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
but i'd have to watch more tv to really back that up
and i'm just not willing to do that
-Aaron, the television critic
Monday, December 6, 2010
Tommy, on LDS Doctrine
to solve his problems, that he created for us.
Which is almost the same as giving someone a noogie and telling them to name 10 candy bars.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Saturday, November 27, 2010
Friday, November 26, 2010
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Monday, November 8, 2010
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Chad, on James Franco
Chad, to Ana
"Lemme ask you a question: if Heath Ledger were still alive, would he be in 127 Hours? Yes, he would."
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Clint on Facebook
I had a dream about you last night
Me: you DID? do tell
Clint: You were wearing my mother's skin, and dancing like the dude from silence of the lambs.
right?
so then you took of the mask and it was my brothers face under that, but i knew it was still you
then I got really aroused
don't tell anyone
anyway, what's up?
me: what
Clint: IT'S A JOKE, YOU KNOW I DON'T DREAM. ONLY PEOPLE WITH SOULS DREAM
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Boy and girl sitting behind us at Sufjan show
girl: "Wasn't he like, a scientist or something?"
Monday, November 1, 2010
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Erin Fox
Erin F on whatever Ana and Mark are secretively discussing
On the topic of getting off one's high horse
Monday, October 18, 2010
A regular Dalai Lama
-My mother, the lovable negative Nancy
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Asses?
Girl asking why Ana is filming in a phone booth
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Friday, September 24, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Um...
Josh investigates, pulling back my hair: "Yep. Looks like bugs."
me: "Eat 'em!"
Josh licks my scalp, which has tons of product in it. Reeling, "I'm never doing that again."
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Monday, September 6, 2010
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Rarely working
Josh puts honey mustard on his corned beef hash, even though I warned him not to.
Josh: You're right, this was a bad idea.
Me: I told you! Honey mustard rarely works.
Josh: YOU rarely work. BOOM, too soon!
Friday, August 27, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Questions you should probably know the answer to when you're an OB Medic
It is too early for this nonsense...
me: Hey. That stuff is expensive.
Josh: I bet. Unicorns are rare!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Monday, August 9, 2010
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Saturday, August 7, 2010
Friday, August 6, 2010
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Russian dudes on CR
out: your music is too loud
in: look
in: it s russian rap)))
out: ahah
in: what you name???
out: what's your name?
in: Vovik
out: ok
in: vlfd
in:
in:
out: dark hair, vovik
out: and blond?
in: Vladik
(Vladik flashes the Vulcan hand, I return it)
out: greetings, fellow dorks
out: live long and prosper
Monday, July 19, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Monday, July 12, 2010
Aimee/ Omegle
You: i have a pink wig too
Stranger: well do u have cancer??
You: no, do you?
Stranger: yeah
You: ah
Stranger: might as well have fun with it
You: i absolutely agree
Stranger: just started losing my hair so..
You: i also believe everyone should have a hearty hat collection
You: how old are you?
Stranger: 17
You: what kind of cancer?
Stranger: tumer in my stomach
Stranger: and spreading
You: i'm sorry.
You: that's very painful
Stranger: its okay
Stranger: sometimes
You: aw, honey! (*she's trying to casually wipe away tears)
You: you're going to be fine.
Stranger: its okay
You: :)
Stranger: sure
Stranger: lets just tlk about something else
You: absolutely!
Stranger: whats life like
You: haha, broad question!
Stranger: like kissing a boy
You: oh my!
Stranger: sex
Stranger: stuff like that
You: some boys have absolutely no clue what they're doing
You: that's for sure
Stranger: haha
You: the first boy i french kissed
You: it was like having a slug in my mouth
Stranger: haha
You: but i don't think he was trying very hard.
Stranger: lol
You: when they have their mind on other things they rarely are
You: they want to skip straight to third base
You: and you're like WHOA, not EVEN on the field
Stranger: haha
Stranger: ur very pretty
You: aw thanks!
Stranger: ur welcome
You: i love your nose. i'd steal it if i could
You: haha
Stranger: hah
You: i'm Erin.
Stranger: i hate my face
You: shut UP
Stranger: i am Aimee
Stranger: i have such a man face
You: what EVER.
You: well.
You: did you have any specific questions about... boys?
Stranger: no
You: seemed like maybe you did!
Stranger: i do but they will be for another lifetime
You: ??
Stranger: the doctor told me i have about a year or so left
Stranger: so i stopped treatment and am just having fun
You: so you don't have any living left to do!? any one of us could have a year left
You: you just have the benefit of being reminded to appreciate it.
Stranger: exactly
Stranger: so i am traveling to Auchwitz
Stranger: i wanna see it
You: wow!
Stranger: Well they had it worse
Stranger: i have been there once. it was so amazing
You: where do you live?
Stranger: Canada
Stranger: in Saskatchewan
You: so what do you do in your free time, when you're not wading through penises on video chat?
Stranger: go to a mall and people watch. I just make up stories of their lives!!!
Stranger: its fun for me
You: i LOVE doing that!
You: that's my favorite.
You: i dated a boy where that's all we did
Stranger: or i pretend to pass out in a store
You: OMG that's hilarious
Stranger: i love scaring people
Stranger: or i go trick or treating!!!
You: have you ever staged a flash mob?
Stranger: whats that??
You: that's where you have everyone agree to show up on, say, a street corner
You: and they all show up ON THE DOT
You: and like, bring a boom box
You: party it up for like 5 minutes
You: and then disappear
Stranger: haha
Stranger: i should do that
You: or we have zombie walks all the time here
Stranger: i will have to do that at a mall
You: people just get gored up and go a wandering
Stranger: so whats ur fav band??
You: hmmm.
You: i love Little Dragon right now, and Flaming Lips. You?
Stranger: Down With Webster
Stranger: cause i know them all!!
Stranger: well this guy i like told me to meet him at the park
Stranger: i am going to sneek out!!!
You: DO IT
You: are you on facebook?
Stranger: no
You: well, my email is chaney.erin@gmail.com if you ever want to chat again
Stranger: i deleted that once the cool girls spread roomers that i shaved my head and became a whore
You: oh, boo
You: they're the whores
Stranger: i know
You: besides
You: you've gotta pack a lot in
Stranger: a week ago one got pregnant!!
You: whore it up, i say
Stranger: thats my motto!!!
You: as long as the boy is cute, respectful, and makes you feel like a goddess
Stranger: but this guy is taking me to a party!!!
You: woot!
Stranger: so i have to go
You: ok
Stranger: byee Erin
You: party it up. you have my blessing
You: nice to meet you, Aimee
Stranger: you just changed my life!!!
You: whut whut! mine too!
Stranger: byee!!!!!!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Friday, July 9, 2010
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Friday, July 2, 2010
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Bacon Ice cream
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Squatter's Server
server, whose name tag says Zachari: How's your food?
us: Delicious!
-Thanks, I cooked it myself.
us: Well, you did a fine job! (We're all in on the joke at this point)
-I also brew the beer, and own the place! I built the building with my bare hands.
us: Brick by brick! Uphill!
-With my feet pinned behind my ears!
a little later...
server: Thanks for coming in today! I'm Jeremiah Squatter.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Monday, May 31, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Smart toddler!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
On set, between crew
Friday, May 14, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Facebook woes
me: NO! God dammit, they never show me yours, for some stupid reason. Who do I have to blow around here to see my own husband's status updates!?
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Josh trolls a guy on NBA2k
Josh's response: "Pubes?"
guy: "I don't speak Spanish."
Josh: "Esta bien."
guy: "Speak English or not at all, I don't understand you."
Josh: "I said pubes. That's real talk."
guy: "Oh why you talkin bout nut hair, you like balls in your mouth or somethin'?"
Josh: "You ever watch MC Hammer's Pumps and a Bump video?"
guy: "Nah."
Josh: "Really weird. YouTube that."
guy: "Aight."
Saturday, May 1, 2010
I'm standing right here...
Friday, April 30, 2010
Whaaa?
This is what I heard, not what he said:
"Hot bass?"
me: "huh?"
"Hop ass?"
me: "Allllllright!"
him: "I was wondering what your response would be..."
I know now, after having mulled it over, he was saying "Hall pass?". Is English my first language? Yes.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
More from the peanut gallery
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Another gem from Dad
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Christ. Mas.
"Little son of Bethlehem, where the shit are youuu?"