Rory Donahoe

I bought a bunch of burritos from an Indian market that were just kind of chilling in the open air by the register. Here's my review of those burritos as a food critic.

Burrito 1: The succulence of the dry chicken paired quite well with the filling which was either rice, or very thin, small beans. The texture changed of the tortilla kept my taste buds excited by switching from soggy and cold to burned and impregnable. It would pair nicely with a port. 21/2 stars.

Burrito 2: This burrito was quite spicy. It was the kind of spiciness that makes your eyes tear up, like when you're putting gas in your car. It was an odd color off burnt orange, and to liven things up I doused it in mint chutney, because fuck it, the chutney is free here. 1 star

Burrito 3: This one was just two mozzarella sticks stuck together. 5 stars