Text chat

Ana: What are you doing tonight?... Oh, exciting. I am going grocery shopping. I think we just turned into housewives. And we should scrapbook this moment.
Me: Dude. I think we should e-scrap it. And by that I mean photoshop cute borders on pics of our kids and put them on facebook.
Ana: Love it. Though you guys will be dealing with the kid situation sooner than us. Ours will be cuter though, for sure. ;-)
Me: Yeah well if I wanted baby koalas I would steal them from the zoo.
A: You should! Think about how cute baby koalas are. Plus, less maintenance than a baby. You can pop them in a box.
Me: Yeah, but they're mean and eucalyptus doesn't grow on trees. Why are you selling this so hard? You're a koala dealer, aren't you?
A: Why? Are you interested? The eucalyptus comes free...
Me: But that's always how they get you hooked. Next thing you know I'll be blowing you for extract.
A: And boy oh boy will it be sweet.

Johnny's on 2nd, Membership Liberation Night

Tara and I are standing across from each other and talking, while sort of dance/sliding.

Creepy guy in black suit with douchy black fedora:"What are you two girls doin'?"
Me (not even looking at him, still sliding my neck around half-dancing): "Wigglin'."
Tara (looking straight ahead at me): "Jigglin'."

He walked away pretty quickly.

A Bar Named Sue

Sunday night was Josh's brothers' birthday party (they're twins).
Josh decided to wear his new clear jelly shoes to the bar. I have no idea where he found size 11 men's jellies, nor do I want to know. The less I know about it the better, I think.
A creepy old cougar was giving his feet the eye, and said loudly to her friends in his direction:
"That guy is wearing jelly shooz. *sneer*."
Josh, in her direction: "Take it or leave it... take it or leave it."
Coug, slowly and decisively: "... leave it."

scratched into the bathroom stall at Gourmandise: "I wish you all had my power over men."

X :P? ????0?^??A?4??v?A???|O??!

edit: WHAT!? Obviously this text blogging thing has a few kinks to work out. I did not type X :P ? ????o? or any other gibberish.

Very Filling

About 10:05 pm, Friday night, Ana and I are on the way to the bar and could walk across the street to Este.
Me: Have you eaten?
Ana: I had a big sandwich around ten.
Me: That was... five minutes ago?
Ana: No, this morning.
Me: What!?
Ana: It was a very filling sandwich!

Yay!

I finally done figgered out them innertubes. I can now text all my hilarious convos of the day directly. All I had to do was wonder, "What does that little phone symbol next to my blog settings do?" and click it.