Jesus, take the wheel

Josh: ...that time I passed out drunk with my car still running...
me: Jesus took the wheel!?
Josh: Yeah.
me: So Jesus knows how to drive, but he doesn't know how to park? Or he just left it running so you knew he'd been by your side all along?

Man with massive medallion in DC to Josh: Sir do you know Jesus? You don't look like you do!

Why he still out there holding ice to his face? Because I smashed him in it! I don't even know, I can't control myself anymore! Is the pizza place open? I gotta piss. Man, why is my night going like this? I shouldn't have drank so much Hennessy.
- woman at 11:30 on Tuesday night at the Kennedy Fried Chicken

I win.

Ana: Are you ready for what I'm about to say?
me: Uh, sure. Ready as I'll ever be.
Ana: JGL wins over James Franco. I give in. Franco is annoying the SHIT out of me recently... I was watching this documentary about this artist, totally amazing, right. AND FOR NO REASON JAMES FRANCO WAS IN IT
out loud, I said "GET OUT OF MY MOVIE, JAMES FRANCO!"

Amazing.

I think some men are intimidated by strong women, but I respect your collection of swords and your skeleton throne.
- Bastard Keith

Ryan Paul, evil genius

I keep seeing those Nick Cave ads on the subways

I want to creatively deface them to Say Nic Cage

and put nicholas cage faces on the llamas

Truly one of the sweetest things ever said to me!

Miaken Christensen

I know this is random, but you popped into my head today and I just wanted you to know how much I appreciate the fact that you are always so supportive of your friends and the projects they are working on.  I have really appreciated all the support and encouragement you have always offered! Thanks for being that for me and many others!