Mom's snarky thoughts on religion

if she would just accept jesus in her life, all would be well. its fun to think there is some "magic" out there. me: sure! that's what you take mushrooms for. m: amen pot has probably done more to relieve suffering than god

Facebook posts are not conversations...

but someone should be logging the brilliance of the people on my feed. "What's a good hot sauce to mask the bitter taste of contempt and regret from day to day life? Sometimes when I eat all I taste is my eventual mortality and the overpowering uselessness of this mortal shell we call our own." - Rory Donahoe

Alex Horwood is brilliant.

Two men married? That's LUDICROUS!...and then a talking snake convinced a lady to eat fruit and that's why we feel shame.

"Looking forward to Jack Johnson's eventual anthology, "Gynecologist Waiting Room."..."- Alex Horwood

"Hey everyone, this is coming from someone that has no children but before you get pregnant, ask yourself if you really want to unleash a child into a world where Hi-C no longer makes Ecto Cooler juice boxes...?" Alex Horwood, who else?

Girl talk

Two girls in line behind me at the coffee shop on Jane "Auughh, I'm still so mad!" "Oh, get over it already. Why don't you just talk to him?" "Because... I'm a vagiiinaaaa..." - best part is the upstate NY accent.

Flattery?

Heading down into the 14th st train station after a long day, two scraggly homeless-hippie types standing near the entrance. With a rough British accent, one of the be-dreaded calls out to my back: "Ma'am! MA'AM! Get back here, Big Lebowski! I loved you in Big Lebowski..." is he referencing Maude? I'm kind of flattered and annoyed simultaneously.

Overheard in Brooklyn

Litte boy to his sister: "Kiara, next time call my dad to take you home from school." Kiara: "Devonn, you need to learn to get home by yourself." Devonn: "When pigs fly!"

Whoa. Do you wanna take acid and watch Jim Carrey's The Grinch? - Josh

Stop being amazed by giant black men! - Eric to Ryan

"Did you know that liquor costs $7 on the plane!? I thought it was free!" - Rene, living up to exactly the kind of comment we predicted he would make

One cool aspect of listening to a loud conversation about hunting season while i was grocery shopping for kitty litter is remembering we'll all be dead someday...- Alex Horwood

"She likes to throw her own bone, and catch it." -James

? @o? ???s tO?

? @?? ??Aa??^ ??r ? &??ex9L/??y ??????:??>?AIP?= ??n2?? ??y?=MG??e:(?~??e9??n?? v?~F??gP?M ??e?8=O?? tY
?????m/??e9 ] ?A?9??~??h =?N??

? ?uy? j?A?p $.??n?=MG????? v??i: 4????s G???q? ????0{? ???3:?>??t???.??i? v?Apvx?v?A?? dN??e9?? ??e?Y????, Y ???gP ? ???qZ>f?Y v?LO??

"Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" - the crowd responding the only way it can to a hulking, angry trans woman toppling guardrails and sending small men flying onto their asses

:)

Josh: SarahPalin2016.com is still available. Erin: We need to buy that shit and make it as legit looking as possible. We need our best men on this one. Josh: What would I do without you?