Bundt-kakke? Is that where multiple people throw cake at your face?- Ehren

"Just as I suspected- without Jam it's just some dry toast." - Jam

New Lost

Most nights the 3 train takes you to New Lots Avenue. This Sunday evening, the 3 train decided to try on a new hat and take folks to Flatbush Avenue instead, leaving those who live at New Lots taking a shuttle bus at Franklin. The announcement was made by the conductor, as well as splashed about the station on signs with alternate suggestions. Somebody forgot to translate those instructions into every single language spoken by those who live at New Lots. A tired looking Southwest- Asian man gets the attention of the women sitting next to me, just as the train splits off and starts going down the new way: "New Lost!?" "It normally goes to New Lots but it's not tonight." "New Lots?" "Yes, the 3 train usually goes to New Lots but because of construction you have to take the bus at Franklin instead." He points desperately at the piece of paper in his hand. I direct his attention to a sign behind his head with the instructions on it, hoping his read English is better than what he hears. He studies it with a furrowed brow, dramatically flapping his piece of paper. He looks again at the women sitting next to me: "New Lost!" They convince him to take the train going back to Franklin, a massive Jamaican woman shaking her head as he dashes out. "I don't think he gets it."

Steel drum man on the 2 line segues effortlessly from Fur Elise to Take 5 and back again. One gold tooth.

Ana: that is the best news I've heard today and that goes after I hung up with a guy who wanted to pitch a show about ghosts to me me: ???? Ana: yup not like ghost hunters, but like the ghosts where the characters in this reality show

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You're watching the godfather without me? Do you not love me?

Ryan: oh, my boss overheard something on Fire Island: "He's doing it all wrong, first you go to the clubs, you WERK WERK WERK, you fuck everybody and THEN you get a boy friend". insert arm gestures at "WERK WERK WERK" werds of wizdom

I thought I bought an otter skull, and I waited for weeks and it never came. It turns out I didn't buy it. I was sad. - Kira

Why you should love my Mom, a short essay

Kira: Mom just coined the term, "skankles".

Submitted by Kira, my embedded informant

Dad comes in. Kira: "What the hell's on your head!? Dad: "This is how I cool down." K: "What IS that!?" Dad: "Cabbage leaves. Nice and cool. And moist. Works like a charm. "

Dad: "So, I might be joining the Beatles cover band." me: "Oh, you'll be a great Ringo." Dad: "More like Bingo."

Boy Scouts reaffirm their stance against gays. Seems a little strange to me, considering it's dudes with cute animal patches sewn all over their matching outfits. Just sayin... - Neil

Corner Store Story

I don't feel like breaking my 20, so I grab a small bottle of water since I have a loose $1. "Get the big one, babe! The big one", says Abdul. "We got to keep you healthy. Have a good day, babe."

I wish someone would love me as much as Kanye West loves Kanye West. -Dana

Took you this long?

"You don't know ANYthing." Josh, mindblown at my absolute ignorance of Star Wars

Bitch act like she ain't even know I was comin out. I'll punch that bitch in the face! - girl pretty much saying what I was thinking about the crowd on the 6

Topic: the terrible humidity- heat in NYC

Adam: Ew. I'm moving to Canada. me: that sounds loverly take me with you Adam: Montreal? me: yessa we will wear beaver pelt hats and drink shitty coffee Adam: And put maple syrup on motherfucking everything. me: HAHA

Zayd: you're the hero the internet deserves, but not the one it needs me: maybe i'm the one it needs, but doesn't want. maybe it doesn't want to be saved. Zayd: tonight's main course... justice served with a side of justice and for dessert... a souffle

Cheesy "ladies man" type sees the wrapper in my hand and leans twoard me with his empty coffee cup. "I'll throw it away for you. And later on in the day, you do a good deed for someone."

"maybe they're trying to save electricity, and they're doing their makeup in the dark." -Luis

Overheard

Man with EXTREMELY gay stereotype lisp: "Dallas. Dallas! The episodes I haven't seen yet!"

"I am the Serpico of handjobs." - Doud "...I thought I was Serpico but it turned out I was Donnie Brasco."

Adorable.

Playing Super Mario World "This is a hard level." -Ryan "No it's not. It's simple! Just get all the coins, flip the switch. Grab the P, just take it over there. Blue fuckin' door. Bang." - Dylan

It is a very nice song, it's very popular. It has a nice beat to it. It's a good song, Alison. It has a nice rhythm. -little boy to his sister