But to quote Nietzche, life like totally bums me out like all the time. - the one and only Adam Little

"What's that weightless yoga called? Where they use the silk swings?" Random guy at bar: "That's called smoking dope."

Kris on abbreviated words: "like grats? Which is short for congrats? Which is already short for congratulations? So lazy!"

New York

Kris: "That town is gonna chew you up and shit you out, Erin."

David: what is this Burning Man type shit?

Congratulations to The Decemberists, whose new Infinite Jest-inspired video has unseated Kenneth Branagh's Hamlet as The Whitest Thing Ever.
- Alex Horwood does it again

Gyno

Kris is discovering the profitable world of gynecology, and decides to offer a more affordable alternative on his own:

me: "You should probably call it "gyne- tology", just so there's no confusion for actual medical work."

Kris: "More like gyne- lology."

We're all going to die, Erin. Chernobyl or no. - Robbie

What would you do with a million dollars? I'd make a sandwich! Out of hookers and cocaine. - Eric and Robbie

"I'm Erin Chaney. I have a happy go lucky and devil-may-care attitude." -Eric, making fun of me?

I feel like a king with a scepter. Send in the virgins to wax my loins... -Eric F

Josh I like you just the way you are. But I made a list of things you might want to modify... - Jed

I was the peepinest Tom of all. I was such a peepin tom they called me Peeping Tom. - Kris

When Noah's Ark dropped the Germans off at Ellis Island... - Kira