Jsar: ass accentuator- on.

JSar: I know, I knew when I was younger I was short so I was like, "I have to be funny."
Ana: So what happened to that?

"Hey Haley, d' you guys want smore Pabst?" - bartender using intercom at Brewvies

There is not one guy that hasn't peed on a tree.
- Ana

The Magenta Placenta

I'm going to write a children's book called The Magenta Placenta. It shows how different cultures do different stuff with placentas, like some people bury it, some people eat it, some people try to put it in a stew but he keeps running away.

Tommy Johnson

Ana, about to play pool: "Am I stars, or stripes?... I got this. I got this."

FACT: Hookers are cheaper in Mesquite.
-JSAR

Scott: "I married you so you would QUIT calling me!"

"she wanted a snowglobe and she wandered into a bong shop..." Chad on Katie

Josh H.: "You know that Nicki Minaj's real name is Gerald?"

Manju, on dogs: Did you know that their taste buds are in their tummy and not on their tongues?
Josh Sarlo: Did you know that sounds like total bullshit?

from the brilliant mind of Eric Fisher

Sloan and Mubarak step down at almost the same time...coincidence? Say... You never see those two at the same party at the same time..suspicious.

Manju on Sarlo: He doesn't have manboobs.
He just LOOKS like he has manboobs!

Josh, singing: fuggin meh softly, with his schlong...

Tyra Banks show

Ok. There I am, googling "flattering dress sizes for curvy figures" or something along those lines, just learning about silhouettes. I don't know... don't judge me!
I come across a page from the Tyra Banks talk show about it, and I check it out just to see if it has any interesting photos of what I'm after. Then I see the comments. People are SO CRAZY! I can't even... wow. Anyway, here we have a teenager, a nut talking about relativity, and an obsessed psycho fan whose name is Rocklette (isn't raclette a cheese?):

Leno is a talentless boob: "Oh really? Yeah... (fake laugh)" fuck him in his fucking chin.

Tommy

Kira: "Sorry, something naked was happening."

I'm ranting, as usual... "land you in a motor home..."
Ana: "Did you just say 'boner home'? Because I wanna go there."
me: "No, but I like that you just misheard it that way..."

Alex Horwood: "I know a place where we can make love on a pile of Alan Thicke's old sweaters..."

There should really be a separate blog for just Alex. Why doesn't he have one? Why do I get to do all the work!?

"Hard to believe a dude could be THAT fucking non-chalant about Jimmy cracking corn." - Alex Horwood

"Craigslist is actually a great way to find stuff that's been murdered on." - Alex Horwood

‎"Why a groundhog, anyway? I want a bear in a cape to decide this shit, and someone should have to die..." Alex Horwood