Ana: pssst
hey
I found out what you can give me as an eternal birthday present
me: ?
Ana: Alright. So I'm getting a camera and setting up on a tripod. Then, your face will be there, and you will sing the entire "cold war" song

josh.sarlo: must we have this discussion again?
just think of it as counting "sheep"

Josh to Jonny: I was thinking today about having a totally normal business conversation with an associate you've met but never really spoken to, and you say something to this person, and when they respond, just totally normally pick your nose DEEP. and then respond with a very pertinent comment. I mean, you maintain eye contact during this procedure. Nod perhaps as you're doing it. Never smile.

josh.sarlo: have we NOT discussed my propensity to count penises?

Compliments over breakfast

Josh: "Your nails have always been gross."

you don't wanna see us in white. trust me. this shit hides eeeverything! -Ashlee on why we're wearing black

Ashlee: dis broad... she steals all ma quartahs. loose, in rolls, it dont maaata.

Ashlee- i would never use the word uber, but yes.

hey. if i ever. ever. give a fuck about Jodi Foster... kill me now. -Josh

Josh: "more like the adventures of hipsterberry finn!" Ryan- "We can't go down this river, everyone's heard of it!"

is that why people go out to loud, hot bars? to fart? - Ryan

man, i wish there were an app to scratch my balls. my nuts itch. GOD, i wish there were an app for that. -Josh

i mean, i don't know if he has a girlfriend but... he has a girlfriend. -girl working at Vasuvio's

New Indie-hop band

Fox and Chaney, kickin' it with tha fresh beatz...
Erin Fox

Taylor: all our songs and movies are about love and how complicated it is, but out of all the relationships we'll have in our life, I'm pretty sure the ones with our parents are waaaay more complicated. just that no one talks about it because it's that bad I guess, haha

Me: Missy is irrationally afraid of little people. Caroline: you mean like, Mexicans? : no... like little people.

uh, we'll have two coffees, - (to me) and what do you want to drink? ahahaha. - Josh, at breakfast with just me, ordering at Gourmandise.

Kari: you can dance! you can dance! everybody take off your pants!

Um...

me: "My scalp has been tingling off and on for weeks! It feels like there's bugs in my hair, but it's always the same spot."
Josh investigates, pulling back my hair: "Yep. Looks like bugs."
me: "Eat 'em!"
Josh licks my scalp, which has tons of product in it. Reeling, "I'm never doing that again."

Nick: Shia LaBoeuf makes a living playing old people's sons.

Monacle is the new briefcase. -Josh Sarlo, (aka Josh #3)

you're so gross. i'm so hot. life doesn't seem fair, does it? - stupid cartoon bunny purse belonging to gross girl at johnny's on 2nd.

josh- oh, sweet! snickers almond. yeah! (josh finds a snickers by the bedside)

Toast Mcghost... - Justin

Spencer- I held the door open for this lady and she started combing her fingers through my beard! she said "doesn't that get hot in the summer?"

dad singing Flintstone's theme at Green Pig: "we'll have a gay old time! not that there's anything wrong with that!"

man, I lack the... necessary means for... necessary means for... dealing with this shit. - Josh

if i had known we were gonna be camping with the Kardashians, I would have gone about things differently. -Josh on camping drama

Willy: Going to Philly tomorrow
me: Oh cool, you gonna-
Willy: ... to see your mom.

citizen kane 2: electric boogaloo. -Chris Hanson