A Bar Named Sue

Sunday night was Josh's brothers' birthday party (they're twins).
Josh decided to wear his new clear jelly shoes to the bar. I have no idea where he found size 11 men's jellies, nor do I want to know. The less I know about it the better, I think.
A creepy old cougar was giving his feet the eye, and said loudly to her friends in his direction:
"That guy is wearing jelly shooz. *sneer*."
Josh, in her direction: "Take it or leave it... take it or leave it."
Coug, slowly and decisively: "... leave it."

scratched into the bathroom stall at Gourmandise: "I wish you all had my power over men."

X :P? ????0?^??A?4??v?A???|O??!

edit: WHAT!? Obviously this text blogging thing has a few kinks to work out. I did not type X :P ? ????o? or any other gibberish.

Very Filling

About 10:05 pm, Friday night, Ana and I are on the way to the bar and could walk across the street to Este.
Me: Have you eaten?
Ana: I had a big sandwich around ten.
Me: That was... five minutes ago?
Ana: No, this morning.
Me: What!?
Ana: It was a very filling sandwich!

Yay!

I finally done figgered out them innertubes. I can now text all my hilarious convos of the day directly. All I had to do was wonder, "What does that little phone symbol next to my blog settings do?" and click it.

Hypothetically

I'm in the bathroom getting ready to go out. Josh is in the kitchen doing some dishes.

Josh: Honey, would you ever kill me in my sleep?

Me: If we're talking hypotheticals here... what have you done?